


Guilt

by fondstardust



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Jynnic - Freeform, Krennic-centric, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Wall Sex, fuck jynnic wrecked me, i need holy water now, it is long than i expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-03 21:54:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10259375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fondstardust/pseuds/fondstardust
Summary: He used to believe in fairy tales but he had decided to live in forlorn reality as the fairy tale approached him.





	

**Guilt**

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**Star Wars** doesn'tbelong to me. 

**Setting in Alternate Universe** where everyone has a soulmate.

This is only a work of fiction, solely a not profit fan work.

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_**Written by fondstardust.** _

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* * *

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Orson Krennic still could remember his mother used to told him the bedtime story before they exchange goodnight kisses and hugs; mesmerized by the female's articulation regarding this soul mate story. The name that would appear on his right wrist at the age of eighteen. They were not wealthy but they had a loving family: a father, a mother and himself. He enjoyed that soul mate story. He was six and he believed that.

His mother used to tell him that once he had found his soul mate; he shouldn't let them go. He shouldn't let they die by their own. Their breathing and heartbeats would match: they become as one, inseparable and irrevocable. 

He still cold remember the sweet, yet powerful scent skimmed throughout the air every time his mother embraced his little body.  He always thought the scent was from a perfume that the queens would die to get; a recollection of springs flowers bring forth by the mild breeze. Hibiscus laevis; it's definitely a reviving scent fragrance came from her. He loved the scent that was coming from her, he would sleep soundly in her warm embrace after his mother told her the story. 

One day, Orson Krennic asked his mother where did the scent come from. 

A simper was graced upon her rosy brims as she gave him a peck on his chuby cheek. 

"It is because I've found your father." And that, was answer of his inquiry. Little Orson perked an eyebrow with confusion written upon his face. Her mother chuckled as she saw his expression and he pouted–– giving her the most irritated face he could ever show to her. The idea of having that refreshing scent because his mother had found his father was unbelievable and beyond logic.

He was eight and he was beyond mature and clever than the boys during his age.

Sometimes, the boys in his neighborhood didn't let him to play with them because he was boring and no fun at all, as they said. He didn't understand why they treated him like that; he would go to his mother and asked her why his friends doesn't like him. Is it because he's different and clever among the others. His mother bestowed a nod as an answer and Orson realised it is because in the school, the teachers would praise him because he would get perfect score in every subject–– especially mathematics. Occasionally, the teacher would apply his name to mathematics competition at their region. Several times, he won the competition: second place twice and third place once. But he was the most young person in the competition for elementary school children. 

His father would give him presents every time he won the competition–– shoes, backpack, books. Everything that related to school. He, obviously, adored the presents his father gave: it was a rare thing because he rarely received anything from his father. He only saw him once a month, on the last week of a month his father would come home: exhausted and sometimes, doleful. 

It is a pellucid thing if his father exhausted by his job–– he was industrious. His father become an exemplify of hard-working man: almost a martial. He would greet him with such formalities, he called him 'Sir' and his gaze was locked upon the floor before his father ruffled his black wavy hair. He'd look up and found his father was smiling at him. The insufferable emotions of missing his dad, he would do a rash thing such as hug him, call his mother who was working in the kitchen and they would cuddle together; furgal the time they had before the planetoid reached its own pinnacle––the time that he should go to his bed, alone. Because they said: they need time to be alone. 

And in the night, he could hear noises from his parents' bedroom. 

At the age of thirteen, Orson Krennic began to doubt the story his mother used to tell him.

Growing up as a brilliant latter––the paragon–– it is a lucid thing if he didn't believe in the story. Pride had taken toll on him. Orson told his mother that he wants to be alone; he doesn't want to his mother to come to his room without permission from him. He doesn't want his mother to tell bedtime stories again because assignments become his bedtime stories.

His mother laughed in the most painful way. She realized her son had grown up so fast than she thought. The only son she had. She bid him a good night but before her presence gone, Orson halted her steps.

 

"Mother, I was wondering...- Do you really have father's name on your wrist ?" He inquired, hues flickered upon her mother's hand which was on the doorknob. 

 

Startled by the question, her lips parted ever so slowly to procure a response. He waited for the answer, gaze finally fixated upon hers. Regained her consciousness, a smirk appeared upon her lips as she entered the room and sat on the edge of the mattress, Orson sat on his study chair as he waited for the answer. 

 

"Why, you don't believe my story ?" She asked in the most playful tone he knew since he was a child, wiggling her brows to him. 

 

"I don't." He replied bluntly even though he didn't want to make his mother belittle. She chuckled, eyes were shut: she knew that.

 

"What, you prefer this forlorn reality than fairytale?" She asked him, once again. She leaned against the wall as she waited for his answer; she left him speechless. The brilliant latter was speechless by his mother inquiry, she wanted to laugh but it could make him mad. 

 

"I suppose yes." He answered without hesitation. He decided to continue his study, didn't care if his mother doesn't move from her current position in his private room. Grabbed the glasses and read the book he had on the study. His mother exhaled an heavy exhalation before she stood beside him, a palm was under her jaw to support her from  boringness as she saw her son's handwriting. She couldn't read the handwriting because it's too curvy to the right, probably because he's left-handed.

 

"What are you doing ?" She asked, those bright sapphire eyes met his hues: brows kittened. 

 

"Writing." He answered with a flat tone.

 

"A story about soul mate." It wasn't another question she asked, it was a declaration from her observation. The latter bit his bottom lip as he nodded, a wide grin graced upon her lips as her hand found its way to his hair, fingers were ruffled the hair he kept short.

 

"It's for my school's assignment!" He exclaimed when his mother tried her best to make his son embarrassed. She pinched his cheek and Orson let a grunt dispersed as his response. 

 

"Why would your teacher gave you an assignment about soul mate ?"

 

"I don't know! She said it's part of science!"

 

She laughed, and he laughed too. He began to laugh as he saw his mother laughs too hard, the scent he remembered was coming from her again. It had been a long time since the last time he inhaled the scent.

 

"Oh God, part of science." She struggled to shut her mouth. She refrained herself and cleared her throat, "Well, do you want to see ?" He nodded, it was part of his research after all, he thought. His mother held her wrist in front of his face so he could see the name clearly.

And he saw his father's name on her wrist. Irrefutable it wasn't a tattoo she had as his thumb on her wrist–– it was a real thing, he blinked several times as his mother smiling widely to him. She could see the latter didn't believe his own eyes, she let out a chuckle and Orson's attention was drawn into his mother's face. She  was in front of the door and she whispered, "Told you it was real."

 

From that time, he started to believe on the fairy tale again.

* * *

 

It all changed when he was fifteen. He got a scholarship and he could finish the semester faster than the others. He could solve conundrum and convoluted questions. His mother began to worry about his apathy towards his others, doesn't altruism and lack of friends, as far as she concern. He would stick with his works in his private room, sometimes forgot to eat his lunch nor dinner. His father was almost never visit them once in a month, only call them whenever he could because his father said, he was busy. Orson didn't remember his father's occupation, all he could remember was his father works for airplane or sort of thing. Was it pilot. was it something else? He didn't remember. He had no recollection of his father's occupation, all he knew that his father was always busy. So Orson was too. He decided to make himself busy by doing a project with his seat mate, Galen Erso. Another brilliant young man whom he met after being transferred unto his class. 

He adored this man, considered him as his best friend. Orson would stand every time one of popular person in class asked him to do his homework. Galen accepted the assignment gladly, yet Orson would punch that popular person's face and told him to do his own assignment. Once, he got called by the headmaster. The headmaster told Mrs. Krennic that her son's action is unacceptable, saying that even though he's the most precious student in the school; he shouldn't punch his classmate. However, his mother didn't mad at him. After they arrived at the car on the parking lot, his mother laughed so hard and Orson was confused–– he thought his mother would ground him as a punishment but his mother just laughed and so her son too.

Once they arrived at their house, there was a black, expensive car in front of their house. Orson knew there was something unfamiliar about the situation. He decided to go to his room, called Galen to canceled the meeting they would have tonight: writing that his mother and him had to go to cinema for 'family bonding time.' Orson didn't lock his door like he usually did, slightly opened the door so he could see his mother and the guests at the living room. He could see there were two hot cups of tea on the table and his mother was blocked the view to see the guests' face, cursed under his breath because he wanted to see their faces. For a brief moment, he didn't catch the conversation they were having–– it started with 'good afternoon', they mention their purpose of their visit and her mother's voice. 

 

Curiosity was the best and the worst personality he had, he leaned forward to hear the conversation and he could see her mother's shoulder began to trembling, the guests were standing up and bid her a good bye. For a second, he didn't want to approach his mother, he had forgotten how to comfort someone. Comforting is something he couldn't do, too forthright as Galen would say to him and he agreed to his friend's opinion. Yet, something had changed his mind and he put his palm on her shoulder and whispering that 'it's alright, it's gonna be alright, I am here.' because he knew that his father had died alone without his soul mate, his mother had broken the rules of soul mate: never let your soul mate die alone. Mrs. Krennic squeezed his hand so hard as she was sobbing, uncontrollably. For the first time, he saw his mother cry. He, as far as he could remember, never saw her mother crying in front of him. She always smiling, laughing, teasing, playful et cetera that's describe her as the most joyful person he had ever seen.

For that moment, everything changed. He was fifteen, he didn't want to know his soul mate's name because he was afraid he might end up like his father–– died alone without his soul mate because his plane was gone in the air nor end up like his mother;

Died alone in the bathroom with crimson bloods were almost every where on the bathroom' floor. His mother had decided to earse her husband's name that was on her wrist. Took her own life because she couldn't bear it to live alone without her soul mate. As Orson Krennic arrived at home after hang out with Galen at the cinema, he didn't find his mother anywhere and he was started to worried about her. He checked her room, it was empty. He went to the kitchen and she wasn't there. Orson finally found her in the bathroom, with a razor on her left hand and her right hand was covered by the blood. 

He wanted to vomit, he wanted to scream as he embraced his mother's body: demanding the Gods to bring her back. Whispered to her ear that she was the only person he had in the world, the only person that could handle him, the only person who cared about him. Orson cursed, head buried on her mother's arm as her drained blood on his eyes: wiping away the tears he had. He leaned against the wall, head on his knees and hands held his feet, starting to hate the story his mother used to tell her.

If only in this world people don't have their soul mate rules, his mother wouldn't end up like this. If only his father survived, only if they found his father's body: his mother wouldn't do this foolish thing. This whole soul mate concept had made him sick, tired of it. 

The Hibiscus laevis scent he loved, there was no longer there. 

 

* * *

 

At the age of eighteen, he had covered his wrist with at bandage and gloves. On his eighteen birthday: he got drunk, celebrate his birthday with his new friends and obviously the most loyal and quite one: Galen Erso. Didn't care about the tradition to see their soul mate's name that's appeared on the wrist by the time you reached the age of eighteen. 

Most of his friends joked him, saying that he's a coward and started to give a conclusion that he has no soul mate. He shoved off the gossips with the amount of beer he bought to keep his friends' mouth shut. They chattered, Krennic only gave nods to whatever they said because he was already drunk and they were already drunk too. Drunk conversation, nobody would remember if there's no one sober enough to remember. But, unfortunately, Galen Erso didn't drink, even though Krennic insisted to drink the beers he bought for him. Galen Erso refused, mused someone must drive the car and he would drive the car to their flat they rented together for several years since Krennic's mother died. He sold the house to this French family and become a flatmate with Galen Erso. 

Krennic excused himself to bathroom and Galen followed him from behind, watching the other man's back. 

Once they're inside the bathroom, Krennic scanned the surrounding with his hues: caught Galen who was worried about him. He smiled towards him and patted the other's shoulder.

 

"Don't worry, I am fine. I just need to pee." He informed Galen with a simper appeared upon his brims as he excused himself to do something he wanted to do in the toilet. Galen, who still waited for Krennic to have a private chat with him, leaned against the wall with his hands wrapped around his chest.

 

"Orson, I need to talk." Galen declared with a deep voice he had. Krennic rolled his eyes as he cleaned his hands at the sink and sighed, lazy eyes met his posture. He nodded, hand on his nape as he awkwardly stretched his muscles in front of Galen who was remained silent for a moment.

 

"It's alright, old boy, you can talk right now. I'm sober enough to hear your confession." His timbre uttered, quavering as a swarm of emotions filled the brim.

 

"I've met her." He continued, smiled. Galen waited for Krennic's answer–– which he had predicted before: Krennic's brows furrowed with confusion and mouth slightly opened.

 

"Wh--"

 

"Lyra, my soul mate." Without hesitation, he cut his inquiry because he already knew the question. Heck, Krennic was predictable when he was drunk. 

 

Krennic' gaze averted towards the floorboads for below for a good minute the other man talk again. He needed to process the entire situation, and it would quite brief moment if he was drunk enough. Krennic moved his head slightly to the right as both of his hands sunk into trousers' pockets.

 

"You've met your soul mate." He repeated without question mark behind it, its a declaration rather than inquiry. Galen nodded several times as he waited Krennic's expression softened, embracing his old friend and uterring congratulations to him. Yet, it didn't come true.

 

"You will marry soon." Krennic deduced and Galen nodded again, chewing inside of his bottom lip. 

 

"Yes, Orson, I want you to meet Lyra and become my best man." Galen decided to tell him as soon as possible because Krennic was almost left him alone in the bathroom. The frustration and desire for violence emanating from his expression, Galen had to hold back him. After Krennic heard him, he turned around and met Galen's jade irises.

 

"I can't, Galen. I have to go to military training in few days, you know that." It wasn't a lie, Galen knew that. He would gone for three or so years, joined the military because it was part of his father's obituary. Galen sighed and massaging his temple, desperate.

 

"I'm sorry, I forgot you don't like this soul mate concept. I'm sorry." He apologized, give an conclusion that Krennic didn't want to become his best friend was because he despised soul mate tradition rather than military reason. 

 

Krennic shook his head several times and put both of his palms on Galen's shoulder; demanding the man to see his eyes.

 

"I'm honored, Galen, I truly am. But, I am sorry: I can't make it to your wedding. Please understand that." He whispered to his ear as he embraced him, that probably the last time they hug before reality separate them.

 

"I understand, Orson." He answered with the same low tone Krennic had gotten used to. 

* * *

 

Years passed, Orson Krennic had his military training, got a position in the military in weapon section alongside his friend, Galen Erso, who already had a daughter: Jyn Erso who's currently five at the moment. He had persuaded his old friend to join the project he had for years after they departed that night at the bar's bathroom; like the old time, Krennic would say to him. Krennic guarantee Galen a promising position in the military and promising salary per month. Galen's wife, Lyra Erso is also a scientist. She and Krennic had met several times but Krennic would ignore her presence and only cared about Galen, long conversation with Galen in the morning in Erso' family house. Krennic had left a cold impression to Mrs. Erso and he didn't regret it. 

He wanted people to be afraid of him. Typical of man who had no close friends for years and power in his hand. 

He refused to be Jyn's godfather—— told Galen that he had no religion preference. Lyra agreed on that matter; she didn't want to have a man like Krennic to be her daughter's godfather. Jyn, who was tomboy, active as her parents would say but wild as Krennic would say, grew to be a curious little girl. However, it didn't last long.

Jyn Erso was six, Orson Krennic was thirty-one and Galen Erso was thirty-five.

Jyn Erso had lost his mother in a very young age. Got killed by the car in high speed crashed unto her body to pieces. She was crossing the street in a big street, the traffic lights were red and people are allowed to walk on the zebra cross. 

She, Jyn and Galen were finished their daily shopping. Jyn was on her father's grip as they walk, crossing the street whilst Lyra was behind them. Unfortunately, when Galen and Jyn had arrived across the street, Lyra was still at the crowd and suddenly there was a truck with a high speed crashing against some people who were crossing the street. 

Galen could almost die with his soul mate at that time, but Jyn Erso saved him. Screaming, Jyn was screaming in high pitch as Galen let go his grip and ran to his wife's lifeless body: he could have died with her. 

Krennic had known that everyone that had found their soulmate, soon or later after their child began to grow, one of the soulmate would die tragically and the other soul mate would sell themselves to anything. That's what Galen did, he dedicated his life at work with Krennic and left Jyn with his other friend named Saw.

Sometimes, Krennic would pay a visit to her and take a picture of her, send it to Galen to cheer him up a bit. Or most likely, to threat his oldest friend to do their project whenever he's not around Galen.

When Jyn Erso was sixteen and he was fourty-one, young Jyn asked him why he always wore gloves and if he didn't use it, she would see bandage wrapped around his wrist. Does he has scars, she asked him as innocent as she could be. Although, he knew that what Jyn implies. He refused to answer the question and he could see she the disappointment in her jade irises, the same as Galen had. 

Krennic wanted to tell her the story about your soulmate's name that would appear on right wrist when they reach age eighteen. But, he had deduced that Lyra had told her the story when she was a little, like his mother did to him. Well, probably most of mummies would tell the story because it was the most treasured moment of their lives: discovered their significant other by the name and searching for them because they're lonely, boring and don't make men piqued on them. That's what he thought, the concept of soulmate is obviously old fashioned because forcing someone to marry, have children, take care of their children until they're old enough to discover their own soul mate and die together as old married couple. What's fun on that? Krennic, who has adventurous and mysterious soul didn't like it, he used to be until he was fifteen. 

 

* * *

Jyn was eighteen and Krennic was fourty-three. Galen held a small party for her, celebrating his child who had become a young adult and soon will discover her soul mate.

Jyn Erso, who's rebellious but quite didn't like the concept of soul mate after what happened to her mother, Lyra when she was six. Her father fallen into depression because soul mates supposed to die together in old age. Jyn Erso, who had independent soul decided to do the same thing her father's friend did to his wrist: she covered her wrist with bandage and wore gloves. 

Galen held the small party in their garden, he had invited Krennic and some of Jyn's friends: Cassian Andor and Bodhi Rook. They were Jyn's best friends. People would call them as Rebellious Trio. Cassian Andor, who was also as quite as Jyn; cold-minded and attractive. Bodhi Rook was quite the opposite, he was shy but kind. They got called Rebellious Trio because they always against the rules that are strict, voicing student's voice and sometimes go to march to support the right cause they believe in.

Krennic would say: they're trouble makers. 

The party wasn't as fun as he had when he was eighteen. Galen didn't serve beer or something related to alcohol because he feared someone will get drunk and do a rash thing in his house——which is ridiculous for him. There's no point of having a party without a boozo.

Krennic decided to sneak to the basement; where Galen kept his wine collection hiding from his daughter Jyn, the birthday girl. Krennic already knew the password and he entered the basement. The amiable darkness welcomed him before he turned the lights on. Vibrant hues squinted, adjusting itself from the lights. He could see Galen didn't reorganize the bottles——It was based on the years and almost all of them are antiqued. Digits inspected the dust on the cabinets—— assumed that Galen never touch it again because works had kept him busy, and Krennic didn't blame that to Galen for that. He forced Galen to do their project in the meantime, Krennic usually gone to social parties to make himself laudable to aristocrats and have higher rank than him. 

He picked the bottle wine that Krennic sent to Galen as a wedding present. It had been twenty years ago, Krennic successfully avoided the newlyweds for three years. He knew Galen would have a loving family; he's an obviously a loving father who dedicates himself to the family. The impression made him remember the ol' good times he had with his family where he was a child. Veritable, the perennial memories come to his mind and he only could smile at the transient memories. 

Taken back by the memories, he didn't hear someone entered the room—— his face was muted, this person had perturb his session with his memories he usually doesn't remember because it was doleful.

 

"Orson, I didn't know you were here." A feminine voice greeted him, Krennic regained himself and turned around, meeting the source. Jyn. He could see Jyn. He knew that the woman was startled by his presence——pupils were dilated and rosy lips were slightly opened. The older man graced a simper towards her, disingenuous to her. He lifted the bottle to the air so she could see his purpose of being there.

 

"I was looking for a wine." He equivocated, returned the bottle to the cabinet as he ought to leave the woman. Truthfully, Krennic didn't get along with Jyn that much as she grew up to be a rebellious girl. They would argue on something, even the small thing because two of them had different ideology even though their personality is almost alike. She never called him 'Uncle Orson' because he told her to call him 'Orson': he didn't want to become part of Galen's family. He wanted to remains as an old friend of Galen's.

He bid her a good bye and almost disappear from her but Jyn called him, Krennic stop as a heavy exhalation dispersed from his chapped brims. He turned around and Jyn's gaze lingered on the floor——she cleared her throat as she was trying to find exact words to begin their embryonic conversation. Krennic waited, saw her lips opened but nothing come out. The older man’s hands were inside the pockets trousers as he waited for the other individual to speak. Yet, he was impatient.

 

"Do you need something, Jyn ?" He asked, laborious for answer of her call before. Jyn bit her bottom lip and she deliberated.

 

"Father told me to come to speak with you." The first articulation she spoke before when she met him was wrong. She followed him, eyed on him at her party even though she had friends upstairs waiting for her.

 

An brow perked, interested by the subject she brought, "Did he tell you to call me to come upstairs? Just tel him, I will." He answered with rich timbre voice he had. However, Jyn merely shook her head.

 

 "No." She replied. "It's about soul mate thing."

 

His eyes automatically landed upon his wrist——  he wore the leather glove and flinched at the mention of soul mate story.

 

"Oh." He breathed. "What about it ?"

 

Her eyes met his right wrist, the space was covered with his gloves. She'd known this man for years. The again, she barely knew anything about him at all. 

 

"I don't want to know my soul mate."

 

Krennic adjusted his gaze, forcing himself to look past the little girl he used to would have jumped at the opportunity to find her soul mate. That was it, the little girl she knew. He wondered when she had become such a mystery for him.

 

"Are you scared ?" He asked softly, didn't move from his position to approach the female. He could see her jaw clenched and fists curled, snorted.

 

 "It's funny because look at yourself." She paused, glanced upon his right wrist. Foreign chortle escaped from his lips as nodded several times.  "You don't want to know your soul mate." On that, Krennic didn't give her an answer of her statement.

 

Sometimes he would catch her serene gaze toward the roads and failed to recognize to whom those jaded irises belonged. Other times she would meet his stare, and he forgot how to breathe. It wasn't her strength or beauty; the traits that intimidated boys who would speak of her in hushed tones as she passed them in the streets. She didn't hear what their opinions were regarding her, she remained silent among the others. Boys might gossiped him due to her lack of feminine side, how scary her punch is; anything that related to her self defense Saw taught to her.

No, it was an overwhelming guilt that she triggered within him. He told himself that it was the same guilt from almost a decade ago, stemming from his abandonment of her as a family's friend/ He refused to entertain the idea of being something else than this ambiguous friendship they had.

Krennic had always been good at playing pretend, disingenuous to her.

 

"When I was seventeen, I kept my bandage on." He said finally. "If I want to change the bandage, I would look away or watch television."

 

Jyn wasn't surprised  by his refusal to look at his soul mate's name. It would only force an opportunity to crate another relation he would lose in the end. One thing she knew was that his parents died tragically—— leaving him scarred and it was excruciating for him, literally. The night Galen confessed his friend's background to his daughter after being asked several times——usually, Galen refused to answer her but he finally gave up. She finally felt a semblance of understanding for the man she called as her father's friend. Jyn wanted to impede the questions she would ask to him yet curiosity kills the cat.

 

"Have you found them ?" She asked hesitantly. "Your soul mate." 

 

He didn't reply. When she took steps ahead to see his dimmed hues. she saw his eyes were focused on some place far, far away. She could count on one hand the number of times she'd ever had the opportunity to claim his full attention. She tried, she always tried. Since she was a little girl, she always tried to get her attention; make him smiling by the silly action she did. As she became teenager, she would do something rebellious to claim his father's or his attention yet it left him an impression of trouble maker, which she didn't like the title she had. Fortunately, over the years she had learned that just because she wasn't in his vision didn't mean that she wasn't in his thoughts.

This somewhat a twisted, broken man. But he oddly didn't evoke any pity. Perhaps it was because he carried himself in such a strong manner. or probably it was because she'd seen enough of him to know that someone like her couldn't pity a man like him. Cassian, Bodhi, and Krennic were three people that she could never be on equal footing with. She was still trying to find peach with that.

 

"I'm not searching." He replied. "It seems pretty pointless to find someone and limit them to me when I might die anytime."

 

"You're not limiting them. You're finally completing them." She told her. Her cheeks were flushed by saying that and he could see the embarrassment in her expression. She should've looked at the mirror because few minuets ago she said she didn't want to know her soul mate. However, he could see the strong defiance, and his bright eyes creased in an involuntary smile. It was rare—— especially recently, he knew—— to catch a glimpse of what was simmering within Jyn's heart.

 

"I don't want to complete them," He shrugged, he yawned. "It is nice to feel needed but not in that way."

 

He could see surprise lift across her visage. She hand't been expecting him to be so blunt with her about this subject. All she'd known from him in the past were lies, lies, and more lies. But there was something in her serious gaze that compelled him to respond appropriately.

 

"So what happens now ?" 

 

"Now, you enjoy your little party with your idiots friends. Bandage your wrist if you don't want to see your soul mate's name. Take your time." The man turned to face the door as he walked away from her. 

 

There was strong scent coming from her and he didn't want to have further investigation to discover the scent. 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time she was twenty-two, Krennic was forty-seven.

 

It was the night when Krennic received a short message from Galen that his daughter is back from other country and spent her night at the bar with her old colleagues. And Galen asked him to drive her home. Fortunately, he found her drunkenly stumbling out of the bar Galen addressed to him. Left his car near the bar, he called Jyn's name after four years he hadn't seen Jyn.

 

"Here comes the child." He sarcastically called her. She blinked rapidly before finally managing to focus on him.

 

"You don't remember my name, don't you ?" She inquired with sarcasm—— directly insulting him who had become an old man as Jyn would say to him.

 

Krennic would have questioned her further—— why she was out alone, for starters of the question train—— but he was suddenly forced to grasp her arm to prevent her from falling to the ground instead.

 

"How many beer did you drink ?" He asked.

 

There was too much concern in his timbre voice and her jade eyes turned to ice as she snarled, "Don't treat me like I am a child."

 

"Your father treated you like a child, not me." He responded as cold as he could be to her. She made a move to escape his grip but he held on tight. "Come, I will walk you home."

 

"How about your car ?" 

 

"I will pick it tomorrow, come." 

 

They walked in silence. Krennic didn't go near her as possible as he could——he didn't want to intrude her privacy but sometimes, Jyn would stand there; trying to focus and the result was her knees gave out and she sat down. Her eyes were unfocused on the ground by his feet, and he decided to sit across from her rather than attempt to forcefully carry her home. Who knows if Jyn would punch him in the face if he tried to carry her. 

 

"I assume your night was exciting, huh ?" He tried to make a conversation. She hummed softly in return and began drawing patterns in the dirt with her gloved hands. Krennic stayed quite as his attention was fixed upon her gloved hands——she hadn't seen her soul mate's name then, he thought. It didn't surprise him. He knew if Jyn wanted to do something, she would do that.

 

"Orson," She said his name like it was something to hold onto. "I saw Cassian soul mate's name."

 

Krennic sighed, she started to begin the conversation they had years ago. He reached out to pat her head with his own gloved hand, knew she needed a comfort from him even though he had forgotten to do that. He couldn't see uncertainty in her eyes because her gaze locked upon the ground, he wanted to see those jade irises he had missed.

 

"There was a part of me that always thought my name was written on his wrist." She murmured, avoiding her gaze from him. As Krennic predicted, he knew that Jyn wanted Cassian to be her soul mate. "But that wasn't my name. And I thought it wouldn't matter, it wouldn't hurt to know the truth. I was wrong." Her shoulders were began to trembling and it wasn't from the cold.

 

The older man started to rub his palm on her back as he uttered, "Soul mates are an outdated concept," Krennic snorted. "People don't care about them anymore. It doesn't matter if Cassian doesn't have your name on his wrist."

 

"Of course it does." She hissed. There was a venom in her stance that he'd only seen in war. But perhaps this was a battle for her. "What if Cassian find his soul mate ? You can't refuse to have a soul mate."

 

 "That would be justified." He finished.

 

The broken look in her eyes reminded him of his own past. There were details about his life that would never written down concretely in files, and this was one of them. 

 

"I only wanted there to be some kind of fulfillment. That sounds selfish, doesn't it ?" She laughed dryly. "I know you might think that I am an independent soul, which I am but I don't want to see Cassian slowly disappear from my life." The words were a bold statement, fueled by the alcohol that still tainted her tongue.

 

"Everyone will be disappeared from your life if you keep thinking about it."

 

She watched the distant look in his eyes. He wasn't here with her anymore; he was reliving the past, living in the kind of memories that caused him to speak this personal opinion about this matter.

 

"It is acceptable if sometimes you remember the memories you had with them but every time you think about it—— you only think that someday they will disappear from you life and they truly disappear from your life." Krennic put his hand on her shoulder. "It is the most selfish thing if you keep thinking that they will disappear from your life."

 

He met her gaze once more, and she could feel him measuring her. Not in the way a predator would size their prey. It was something else entirely, causing goosebumps to raise her skin. She didn't say anything as a respond, Jyn was lost of words but she found something that would annoy Krennic. 

 

"What if they're waiting for you ?" Jyn demanded. "Your soul mate might be waiting to find you. They might be wasting their life chasing after you, a man who has barely ever thought of them."

 

She knew the anger laced in her words was unfair. It shouldn't have been directed at him. She was lashing out because she was frustrated by the whole thing. 

 

"That's the most selfish thing I've ever done." He replied with certainty. "I kept thinking of them when I was younger and now, they're disappear from my life now." He said lowly.

 

He was exhausted. The weight of his explanation had drained him, and Jyn was forced to remember that this was a man. Krennic was not a God as, the legends made him out to be.

 

"We are both stubborn, you and I." Jyn told him, and with that: He creased his eyes to return her hesitatant smile and he forgot the burden weighing heavily on his wrist.

* * *

 

Jyn first saw his soul mate's name while she was bandaging his wrist.

Krennic was returned from a diplomatic event from the other town. Galen did come along with him as his company—— Krennic missed the ol' times when Galen used to follow him around like a lost puppy so he asked him if Galen wants to accompany him. The result was Galen did accompany him for three days and two nights. Galen called his daughter to stay at their house for couple days. Jyn had her own apartment in the downtown area near her office. She worked for ministry of defense along with Bodhi. Cassian become a field agent. Truthfully, Krennic blackmailed his superior if they could make Jyn as a part of ministry so he could see her as often as he could. 

She was twenty-three and he was forty-eight. It was late evening and two older men arrived at Galen's house. The house wasn't as big as Krennic had but it was more friendly and family type like than Krennic's: Galen and Lyra used to argue about the vintage style he picked for their house because she said it's too gloomy but Lyra lost. 

They saw Jyn who was sitting on the living room and watching television: a World War documentary Krennic assumed as he saw the bits of the scene in the television. Jyn smiled at him and continue to watch the television. Galen left them to his bedroom and came back with a towel on his shoulder, relucanly ordered the other man to take a shower at his house because he could see exhaustion at his face. He refused, saying that he had to go to his house because someone waiting for his dog. Jyn laughed as her father threw the towel to his friend's face and heard the exclamation from the other older man. He pouted at her laughter and went to the bathroom.

 

It took twenty-five minutes to made Jyn knocked upon the woden surface; waited for him to open the door. Galen commanded her to give Krennic spare clothes because he knew that Krennic didn't have fresh clothes. It's already past nine in the night and Jyn knocked the door once again. 

She could hear Krennic said 'Come in' so she did. 

Jyn found him in front of the sink, brushing his teeth. She could see the droplets from his hair streamed down to his face, chin was clean-shaved, broad shoulders and a fit body. She didn't lowered her gaze to see the towel Galen gave to him wrapped around his thighs but she tried her best to fixated her gaze on his face. Realized there was her presence in the room, he glanced upon her and the stall: demanded her to put the clothes on the stall. She did it, anyway: put the clothes on the stall but didn't go after she did that. 

She didn't give him a privacy which made Krennic irritated by the sudden personal space invasion. A diabolical smile appeared on her face as she leaned against the stall, waiting for Krennic to finish his routine. 

Krennic sighed deeply as he finished brushing his teeth. 

 

"Is there anything I can do ?" Jyn asked, brows raised as she realized that the man was unflappable even though she had invaded his privacy. 

 

"Could you bandage my wrist ?" He asked her. He threw her the athletic tape he had—— Jyn had made herself a boon for him so he took the advantage. She nodded as she moved to Krennic who was sat on the toilet. She took his callous hand and lifted to her eyes. She held his hand and Krennic smirked as digits were brushed against his callous fingers. Her thumb inspecting the pulse he had and she chuckled. 

 

"Why are you laughing?" He asked, his eyes seen her chuckled as she began to undo the bandage that was wet by the shower. Krennic lifted his gaze up so he couldn't see his wrist. Jyn shook her had as she articulated,

 

"No. It's just, I could see your soul mate's name." She responded as she undo the bandage. Krennic smiled at the ceiling as he could feel the fabric was no longer there yet warm digits covered his wrist.

 

"Consider yourself as lucky, I would never let anyone to see my soul mate's name." He continued. "But, please, don't tell me the name, alright ?"

 

"Don't worry, I won't tell you or my father." She replied as she took the new bandage that would covered his wrist within any minutes from now. "Your secret is safe with me." Carefully, and gingerly, unraveling her digits from his wrist; the Rebel was anxious to even brush her fingers from his skin and to see his soul mate's name. She took a deep breath, she felt her lips curve into a smile; reassuring smile before she glanced down. Her hair brushed against his arm and he, obviously, couldn't see his wrist because his vision only could see her black hair. He found himself staring towards her hair as her jaded hues only looked at his wrist. 

 

Showing her his soul mate's name would be an end of his nightmare, he told himself.

 

Maybe she would finally stop haunting his sleep.

 

Krennic kept his gaze on her, his career was based upon him being observant, but he could see no change in her expression as her gaze flickered upon him——mirroring the blush which tinted the cheeks of his acquittance. She quietly covered his soul mate's name with the bandage and returned his stare with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

 

"That wasn't hard, was it ?"

 

She stood and turned away, he thought he saw her hands shaking. 

* * *

 

The first time he saw his soul mate's name was a mistake. 

 

It had been a month since his last encounter with Jyn at Galen's house. That night, he knocked her old room to say good bye but she didn't open nor answer him. so he thought she's already asleep. Usually, Krennic would see Jyn at the office; wondering around at the lobby with one of her idiotic friend. He usually greeted her; good morning, good afternoon, good night whenever he saw her. But he never saw her again. He would search for her, even he came to Bodhi's private room to looking for her but she wasn't there. Bodhi said she had a meeting outside, he understood that yet it's almost everyday. 

He guessed she had to help Cassian, who's currently at Somalia; dealing with something and he believed his own assumption. He only knew this because she'd sent her assistant over with paper work for him to sign. Project in Somalia, it said. It seemed as if she might have been purposely avoiding him, but he didn't blame her. Krennic knew that he had said things that blurred the lines lying between them.

And she had seen his soul mate's name.

There was something so intimate and vulnerable about the act—— he felt as if he had allowed her to see something more significant than his personal information no one ever knows expect Galen. Did this unnerve her as much as it scared him?

Perhaps she wasn't the only one doing the avoiding. His familiar nightmares were back, stronger now that he'd gotten a taste of her closeness——he could smell the scent he used to love, and he couldn't face her without overwhelming guilt by recognizing the scent. And that meant Krennic could no longer look at her without hating a half of himself. She had become something could kill her—— psychically and mentally. The wrong things about her felt so right for him.

On restless night, he had imagined abandoning his duties as one of founder deathly weapon the world's ever had and running away from her as a nameless old man, as far as possible. He had never been a brave man after all, regardless the act he had done in his youth to defend Galen.

 

That day, he was reading papers that scattered on his table as he was trying to tidy up his table, and also waited for his coffee that should had been there before. He heard someone knock his door and he let his assistant to come in. She was standing there; brunette hair pulled back and her eyes were blue like his. He glanced on the stray and commanded to put it on the table, asked for her to help him and there was it. Accidentally, she stumbled upon his foot and the coffee was on his right wrist and he exclaimed, startled by the sensation on his most second secretive place. He cursed and she began to apologize and reached for his hand, revealing his soul mate's name.

The world around him fell silent, and the only sound Krennic heard was his own heart beating louder than his thoughts. He could feel his hands were shaking as he gulped his guilt; he stared at the name, didn't even blink as his assistant started to search one of his spare bandage he had.

He ordered her to leave his office, the woman thought he fired her because this little thing, and he did: he fired her. She had seen his soul mate's name too.

* * *

Galen noticed Krennic behaved oddly around him; Krennic would shrugged, avoiding to make an eye contact as they talked in Krennic's office; he would stare in to the blank wall as ankles nonchalantly crossed on the heavy desk and didn't listen to Galen's thoughts about the problem he had with this project.

He decided to cleared his throat as he took the translucent glass that had Bourbon in it from Krennic's hand. Finally, Galen got Krennic's attention.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you ?"

 

"I beg your pardon ?"

 

"I know you heard me, Orson. You seems pretty occupied with your mind lately, what's wrong ?" He asked him with concern voice, as Galen usually did when they were younger.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, fingers massaging his temple as he breathed. Galen watched him and he knew his friend was lying to him.

 

"I know you're a tremendously good liar but today," He relaxed as he sipped the strong liquor. "You've changed into a terrible liar like me. Should I assume the worst and think you've lost your mind and quiting this project."

 

"That actually would be a preferable situation."

 

"Something worse than you quit the project—— You're dying, aren't you ?"

 

"Jesus fucking Christ, I've seen my soul mate's name!" He raised his tone as he covered his face with his palm. Galen chuckled as he saw his frustration lingered upon his friend's face and he spoke to say his thought regarding this matter.

 

"What's wrong with that? You've seen your soul mate's name and you could begin to search them." He replied as Krennic shot him with his deadly stare.

 

"I've found her too." Krennic informed him, and it startled Galen who was sipping his drink. He coughed so hard and Krennic knew he was insulted him. 

 

After Galen refrained himself back, a simper graced upon his lips as he told him, "You should tell her that you are her soul mate." 

 

"I can't." He replied back.

 

"There's something bother you ? You don't like her ?" It was a stupid question, but he asked anyway.

 

"She..." He paused at the middle of explanation, he casted his gaze on his shoes as he continued again.  "She's something I couldn't possibly reach. She doesn't belong to me and I don't belong to her."

 

And, Galen knew he would say that.

* * *

 

The first time he saw Jyn after months was at her flat.

He unprecedented visited her little flat; never thought he would do that due to the thought of unwelcoming visitor after knowing that they share this bond which they didn't want to happen as long as they walk on the earth. 

They were unfinished assignments for Jyn she hadn't touch because she didn't show up to the office. He asked Bodhi Rook: 'Where the hell is she ?' And he obliged to answer: 'She called she's at home, sick.' before the older man started to getting mad. He reached summit of patience for her play as he decided to bring her assignments to her flat and talk about banish his presence in her life. If that's what she wanted.

She opened the door with a glass of tea in her hands as she hard the bell rung. 

 

"Orson." She greeted him as he stood right in front of her door. There was no formality in her voice as she remembered they were not at the office at the moment. She still said the name like something she could hold onto. "What are you doing here ?"

 

"Deliver your unfinished assignments." He declared the purpose of his presence as he was trying to be as candid as it sounded. In relinquishing the truth from Krennic, the female remained composed and within understanding. 

 

Bestowed a nod in return of male's statement, Jyn momentarily fixed her gaze upon the contents in her tea. The tea was almost transparent in contrast to the ceramic it was contained in—— its remnants. Drawing a momentarily sip to drain the mug, Jyn hummed in an affirming manner. He stood awkwardly as he stared unto her. "Is that all ?" She asked.

 

His visage was nonchalant, creased with the slightest visible frown knitting his svelte brows, his lips parted. 

 

"May I come in ?" With that question, he wanted to prevail the awkward and futile encounter between them. He didn't crestfallen of his inquiry as Jyn shrugged and opened the door widely for him;  welcoming him. 

 

The flat was affirmative for him as he saw sofa and little coffee table as he entered the flat. Several pictures of Galen and her on the wall but most of all are her pictures with Cassian and Bodhi. The Rebellious Trio. He scoffed as he sat on the sofa—— gaze was fixated upon Jyn's pictures when she was a little girl with Lyra and Galen displayed on the coffee table. He heard Jyn called him as she gone to the kitchen if he wanted a cup of tea but he didn't answer, she knew the answer already. 

When she came back from the kitchen, he stared the photos that were hanging on the wall as he didn't hesitate to bring up the conversation he had arranged before he step to her flat. 

 

"You knew." He held his trembling wrist up for her to see as he faced her. He wondered if it was fueled by rage or something else entirely. Shock overtook Jyn's features; she saw he didn't bandage his wrist like he usually does, she should have known it would change everything, and then her lips curved into the saddest smile he had ever seen. He felt guilty to see that smile. 

 

She breathed as she mused serenely whilst slowly refused to meet his eyes. "Yes."

 

Her refusal to meet his eyes had him suppressing the urge to slam his fist through the wall. Look at me, he wanted to shout to the female. He wanted her to meet his eyes so he could deduce how she feel regarding this matter. Tell me how you've felt, tell me how you feel. The plan he had in his mind didn't come out so well—— it wasn't empiricism.

 

"You knew for months," He told her, whimsical. "You never said anything about it! You avoided me, Is that best solution of this ?"

 

"I was following the order! You told me I shouldn't tell you nor my father!" Her voice cracked, the glasses shattered in her hands, and he instantly craved more. He needed to break his facade. She was fire and passion. And Krennic refused to stand here and accept anything less than her everything.

 

"The Infamous rebellious girl had change because she was afraid" He hissed. "I trusted you." As he said that, she looked like someone twisted a knife in her gut. He had known her for years; of course he knew how to hurt her feelings. Sometimes he thought it was the only thing he knew how to do—— make someone hurt; physically and mentally: decimation.

 

"I wanted to tell you!" She cried out betray her own mind as he had manipulate her feelings. "But I couldn't !"

 

"Why ?" He demanded, his own visage was profoundly endearing towards the other.

 

There were two decades worth of anger pulsing through his veins, spilling out of his mouth. He had spent countless hours in front of his mother grave repenting for a crime that he hadn't committed.

 

Rationally, Krennic understood that he could not blame Jyn for his past. He had chosen to punish himself for these imagined sins. But he could not stop himself from lashing out at her, as his world was falling apart at the seams.

 

"It had to be your choice." She replied, and she understands why he would walk away from her and never look back. Like once he had told her; the most selfish thing if you keep thinking that they will disappear from your life. And she kept thinking about him so he could disappear from her life. This is a pathetic explanation, but it is the only one she has at the moment.

 

"I never would have chosen you," He murmured, placate yet he regretted the words instantly although they were the truth. He was forthright and used abusive language to her, and he hoped she would understand. This time, he was the one who had hurt her. Without knowledge that they were soul mates, he would have spent his life wracked in guilt desperately ignoring whatever he felt for her. But he never would have pursued her to do this.

 

And oddly enough, knowing that they were meant for each other did not change a thing.

 

Tell me what to do, he begged to say that to the dead. But they had never replied before and they would not reply it now. God had discrete him with his parents and he couldn't possibly ask for advice to his parents regarding this situation. 

 

"Would you have chosen me ?" He inquired. The look in her eyes was telling.

 

She didn't reply quickly after she heard the inquiry. Jyn remained silent for moment, making Krennic feel guilty about their meeting, about this whole thing that happened between them. He didn't choose her to be his soul mate nor Jyn choose him to ber her soul mate. They couldn't blame everything to each other just because they were supposed to be together or meant to be. They couldn't blame themselves for knowing that they share this bond since Krennic was eighteen, before Jyn was born.

 

"You know my answer is." Jyn deliberately told him, offered him the tea she made before as she sat down to the sofa——sipped her tea and dispelled a faint hum. "I want you to understand that I don't want to accept my fate to be with you, for now." 

 

With that declaration, his smile grew to its widest proximity and revealed his own set of teeth. He remembered the theory of multi-verses. Someone had once mentioned that there were multiple parallel universes, and thus there were endless possibilities of their lives. And there's a possibility she would accept him as he accepted her to be his soul mate. That day would come, eventually. He had to waited, once again. His gaze became soft as quipped in reply,

 

"If you need me, I am willing to be there for you." He told her, "That's what soul mate supposed to do, isn't ? Completing each other." 

 

"I suppose it is." 

 

* * *

 

It had been known for centuries that strength is no more than how well you hide your pain from the public. For the woman and her soul mate, they knew more about pain and suffering than any other. Friends and family died as they became close to them, giving their lives for something that they believed in: the concept of soul mate did killed them. That is something that they wanted more than the life itself. Jyn and Krennic knew the feeling of pain. It haunted them, tortured them. It made them numb that they could feel nothing more. Jyn had lost all her strength, all sense of happiness and logic. It was until they could take no more that she turned to see him in the middle of night, at his place after six month of avoiding him since the last time she had a decent conversation with him.

Krennic took Jyn's arms in his large, callous hands, pressing her against the cold wall of his house. His eyes burned with desire as he rested his hands on either side of her cheeks, leaning forward and placing his lips against her soft, rosy one's. A soft moan escaped from her throat, being lost inside his mouth. The sweet sounds that exited her lips persuaded him to do something more, to keep those entrancing sounds from stopping.

Her lips moved gently with his, parting slightly to allow him a small taste of the real delights within. His hands moved from the cheeks to her shoulders, sliding down her arms and savoring the smooth texture of her skin. He was delighted as he felt goose bumps form under his touch, hinting at the responsiveness of the rest of her body. The thought made him groan, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

She deepened the kiss after a few moments of soft enjoyment. Her tongue darted into his mouth, and he was sure she could taste the wine that he had been consuming before; as they shared the stories of lost and pain. She just lost something valuable in her life and he was willing to be there for her. She was bold, dueling with him with a fiery passion he had never felt before any woman. Jyn was all fire and heat, scorching him yet soothing him at the same time in an odd melange of sensations.

Moving a hand from her waist to her face once more, he caressed her cheek before burying his fingers in her hair, drawing her head closer, holding her to him as he drank from eager lips. He needed this. He needed this badly and the fact she was his old friend's daughter or the fact she was almost twenty years younger than him or the fact that she was recently lost Cassian to endless possibilities of whether he was still alive or dead at somewhere they don't know did not faze him as her small hands skittered up his torso, pushing his outer robes from his shoulders.

His hands slid behind her body and slowly unzipped the back of her dress. He pulled away to look into her eyes for any indication that the activity was going top far or too fast for them, but he growled from the back of his throat as he saw the lust reflected his own in her eyes. She graced a simper slightly, her gaze unblinking on his as she nimbly unbuttoned the front of his dress shirt.

Within seconds, it lay discarded on the floor.

 

"I hope you know what you're doing, Jyn Erso." He breathed, "If this is what you wanted from me."

 

He didn't leave seconds to answer him, his lips crashed upon hers once more as he brought the straps of the dress down her arms, feeling the front dip dangerously low. Uncoiling her arms from around hid neck, she slid them through the straps, letting the dress fall from her body. He could feel the pebbled hardness of her nipples pressing against his body, and he shuddered slightly at the feeling of hot skin against his.

He ran his hands up her torso, taking in the velvety softness and feeling an odd hunger as she responded arching into him. Cupping her breasts with his hands, he ran his thumbs over her nipples and delighted as she pulled away from his lips to throw her head back in unbridled appreciation.

Feeling encouraged, he kissed down her tender ivory neck towards the beautiful fullness of flesh against his hands. She hissed as he took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on the rosy bud and flicking his tongue across it to heighten the sensation. Her hands pressed against his head, pulling him closer to her as she enjoyed his ministrations with loud, breathy moans.

He allowed a hand to travel slowly down her body again, running across the flat stomach to the edge of her simple cotton underwear. He tried to push from his mind how much of a thrill it gave him to see her in simple white cotton undies, and instead decided to dispense with them as quickly as possible to avoid his mind wandering back to all the reasons he shouldn't ravish his soul mate that belonged to the other man against the cold wall of his house in the living room.

Krennic switched his attentions to the other breast, allowing his other hand the opportunity to travel down to meet its twin. Together they rolled the underwear down her hips, letting it drop to the floor. He hadn't been sure if she had noticed the action until she stepped out of the cloth and kicked them to the side hastily.

He couldn't help the smirk on his face as he smelled the hibiscus laevis scent he loved, the strength of her desire.

 

"What if he's still alive ?" He inquired as he growled, pulling away from her breast and kissing up her neck to her ear, nipping slightly at the lobe as his fingers played with the soft brown hair at her apex, coming dangerously close to where she wanted him but not touching her. "What if Cassian is still alive ?"

 

"Fuck, Orson," She whispered, the breathy expletive shooting desire straight to his loins.

He chuckled, kissing her gently as he slid a finger within her, his body immediately registering just how tight she was going to be as his thumb grazed her throbbing nub.

She moaned, throwing her head back and hitting some of the wall decorations. He grinned, watching the gentle flush appear on her face as he played her, moving his fingers slowly in and out of her as his thumb made lazy circles around her clit. Her hips bucked gently against him and his trousers were becoming even more uncomfortable as he watched her lips parted and a small cry of ecstasy dispelled, causing him to unconsciously speed up his movements.

Her eyes flew open; jaded hues fixated upon his and they burned molten hot as his name burst from her lips as she quaked in orgasm.

Bringing his fingers from her body, he saw her eyes widened as he brought his fingers to his lips, sucking and tasting her and groaning at the ambrosia.

Krennic took Jyn's face in his hands, glaring deep within the eyes of his soulmate that once sparkled like stardust at the sky. His fingers smoothed over the lines of her jaw, the bridge of her nose, the dark circles under her eyes. It was strange why she turned herself for his comfort––  he knew, he had told her if she needed a friend, she could come to him. Yet, it was a surprise for him that Jyn seek comfort from him because he knew she's so stubborn and pride would eat her alive. They were destined by fate, brought together by the unfortunate event of the failed mission. She was a lost soul searching for a cure of her insanity, for her obsession to feel something other than pain, and most importantly: to feel a whole again.  
  
Perhaps, being with him could make her feel a whole again because he was destined to be with her.  
  
Removed his undergarments, he pressed her back agaisnt the wall, preventing her from moving. Looking back into those jaded irises, he could tell she was nervous. It didn't matter much to him though. He would have his way with her and his life would return to the hellhole that it was. Accepting her didn't mean she was the solution of his problem, she's the new problem.  
  
Taking her by the hips, he positioned himself at her enterance, caught her lips in a rough, passionate kiss as he thrust deeply into her, gasping at the warmth and tightness of her body consumed him. She gasped against his mouth, gripping his shoulders with her hands as he stretched her.  
  
He pulled away from her lips, letting his head fall onto her shoulder. He held still for a moment, his head spinning slightly at the tightness around him. They were both breathing deeply, trying to come to terms with the initial bolt that ran through them at their coupling.  
  
He whispered to her if she wants to continue, and Jyn only nodded: she didn't say anything to him as he gripped her arms and pinning them above her head, Krennic caught her lips and started to rock his hips against her, loving the tension in her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him. Their movements were messy, filled with need and desire as he drove into her harder and faster, hearing the hitch in her voice as he hit the elusive bundle of nerves within her.  
  
They seemed to know each other's signals so well, and he obliged her gentle urgings by silently surrendering his self-control and speeding up his thrusts while attempting to plunge deeper and deeper into her.  
  
She moaned his name loudly, starting to struggle against her bonds.  
  
Krennic felt as if all of the oxygen had been sucked from the room for one second before gloriously filling his lungs with some nirvana-inducing replacement. She tilted her head forward, gazing into his eyes and he started to rock his hips even harder, kissing her neck as the fast, frenzied rhythm raced through their bodies.  
  
Jyn whimpered, closing her eyes and arching her body towards his, rolling her hips to meet his thrusts.  
  
Her name dispersed from his lips as he caught her lips in a fiery kiss, hoping to scorch her soul with the passion that burned within him.  
  
"Fuck." She moaned, pulling away from his lips, arching her back and closing her eyes as her body started to tremble. Krennic watched her, his muscles aching with need of release. Sex had never been so intense before, and he didn't know whether he would be able to let her go once she came to her senses and realized who she had just fucked.  
  
But as her walls tensed around him, he didn't give a flying fuck about anything else but the feeling of her around him.  
  
"You're beautiful, Jyn." He told her as he kept his gaze fixating upon her and burying his head in her neck as his muscles tensed; he gripped her wrists tightly as he fought with his self-control, pushing himself and he continued to thrust hard against the place within her.  
  
He groaned, feeling her body tensing as her orgasm approached. He gripped her leg with his free hand, holding it high against his body as he thrust. She moaned, the new sensation causing her to lose what little grip she seemed to have on her control.  
  
She cried, her back arching as she came hard. Her voice seemed to betray her body as she cried out in her orgasm, her hands immediately flew to his back and he groaned as her nails dug into his flesh, sliding down his back from the sweat that had built between them.

Krennic didn't know if it was the tightness around him or from the pain her nails caused that finally did him in, but he groaned, arching his back as his pleasure hit him. He thrust hard, his hips jerking as he came within her, his eyes clenched shut, his jaw locked and his muscles taut. Her body trembling and jerking as goose bumps formed on her skin. He could feel his energy drain from him and with a final groan, he collapsed on top of her.  
  
It wasn't until a few minutes later that Krennic pulled himself out from Jyn and gathering her clothes. She slumped down to the floor, pulling her knees securely to her chest. She looked down at the floor, eyes absolutely flooded with tears. Krennic deduced she was ashamed of what she had done. Sex isn't the best cure of loneliness.  
  
She made him as a gateway of her pain of her loss when he was already in pain knowing she's his soul mate that belonged to dead man by now.

  
  
"Jyn." He said, his voice hoarse as he gave her the clothes. "Everything is going to be alright."

  
  
Jyn dropped her head on her knees, her body racking with tears. "I shouldn't have done this." She told her, her voice was so soft and small. "I feel guilty for what I have done to you."

  
  
He was startled as he heard the female's articulation, he couldn't help but commented.

  
  
"No, Jyn. It should have been me who is ashamed and guilty of what we had done. I was taking advantage of you for having sex with you because knowing Cassian is no longer alive." He whispered to her, sat in front of her as he tried to see into her face; the gate of her soul.

  
  
Jyn shook her head, wiped the tears as she lifted her head to see his hues.

  
  
"No, you didn't take advantage of me." She declared, and paused; thinking of the words that would convince he was the victim of her manipulation. "I was:  and I turned to you when I finally feel I need you, isn't that the most selfish thing I've ever done ?"

  
  
There was a softness to his eyes and she could no remember a time when he had looked at her quite that way. And in the air there lingered desperation of being honest to each other. He smiled.

 

"Having sex with you is the most selfish thing I've ever done." A frown complacent on Krennic façade as his peripherals momentarily flickered towards Jyn who was has her head on his shoulder; listening to his articulation. Part of him wanted to engulf the woman in a comforting embrace and reassuring her, but the bitterness entailing his conflicted response prevailed at the moment.

  
  
"Because I want you more now." Closing his eyes, Guilt washing over him like a tidal wave with the confession he so longed for previously once the woman had decided to return to his life. He heard her snorted, hands wrapped around his posture and exhalations were dispersed from her. His body become more relaxed than before as she planted a kiss in his shoulder.

  
  
"Perhaps we can try again from the beginning." She finally said after a serene silence between them –– after unconscious intimate movements Jyn did to him. At once, the sharp nip at his sensitive earlobe rendered the man emit a low moan, one he couldn't control as pleasure was elicited rather than the guilt he experienced before and quickly, the provocation of teasing faltered, and forth cane his shared desire which was already triggered moments before once Jyn had clambered atop him. How time had changed so quickly, Krennic hadn't gotten used to the new idea in the shared moments. However, he couldn't help but smile towards her as she had changed her guilt to excitement after hearing his exclamation.

  
  
"Perhaps, we can."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for read this shit I've been wanted to write but didn't have to do it because exams were around the corner. I hope you like it, mind the several typos or wrong grammar because I don't have beta and English isn't my mother language. Good night and have a better sleep!


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